Queer Eye for the Straight Salad

Do any of you watch Queer Eye? I find this show occasionally eases the pain of life, mostly because it’s a relief to watch people be nice to each other. And of course, I enjoy makeovers. Part of me questions their lasting impact on the made-over person; part of me just doesn’t care. That part of me that’s dying to be soothed and entertained says YES! Yes to the haircut, the wardrobe rejuvenation, and the complete revamping of rooms. Also: yes to green-tinted concealer and a bonfire of old bedspreads! Yes to all of it. Hey guys! Make ME over!

The Fab Five are just that, and the scenic Antoni Porowski in particular, gets a great deal of attention. And, because God sometimes gives with both hands, Lil’ Tony can cook.


Porowski is opening a fast-casual restaurant in Manhattan. Bon Appetit featured an alluring photo (besides the one above) of one of his salads, but without a recipe! I pounced. My looks, marital status, lack of celebrity, advanced age, and gender, might make Antoni unattainable, (hey, I’ve played with worse odds) but his salad was well within my greedy grasp.

photo by Emma Fishman, bonappetit.com

I could surmise from the photo that it contained avocado, fennel, oranges, limes, grapefruits, pomegranate, pistachios, and…some kind of herb. I thought mint, but my food-savant friend Kai suggested basil, and it ended up being just the thing. It clearly has chili powder on it, and must have salt and (I decided) honey and olive oil. And I think I made up the lime part, but I am insisting. It’s tart, spicy and juicy. That’s the ingredient list, so make it however you want. I didn’t get a recipe either!

I took it to a Halloween party and the remains rejuvenated me as I made my way back to my car, parked miles away. In my haste to get the last of it, I tipped the tray into my mouth as I dodged a group of…perhaps zombie librarians (?). As I rounded the corner to my vehicle and hopped in, narrowly dodging what I hoped were Spice Girls, I decided I would make it again the next night. Really, it’s hard to get too much of Antoni, or his salad. Though I am actually partial to Jonathan…





2 thoughts on “Queer Eye for the Straight Salad

  1. Ok. Is Queer Eye a tv show or something on the computer? If I forward your blog to my friend, Karen, will it show her how to subscribe?

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