Muffins of Modest Proportions

What is this obsession that doctors have with growth charts?  They seem to find them infinitely comforting.  I feed my daughter well, (the younger one that is, the older one plays softball and I need to preserve her short strike zone) she just happens to be short.  Tall people are statuesque; is there a similarly elegant word for the not-towering among us?  Since my daughter was a 17 inch newborn I have been hearing from medical professionals that she is lacking in length (“Look! Good News!  Your daughter is now officially ON the chart, instead of off it to the left somewhere so now we can START CHARTING HER!”).  Perhaps I should put her on a rack?  I asked not why she is short (nor why her hair is red) but in answer to questions I did not ask, they tell me that the important thing is that she is actually growing, even if she isn’t growing as much as everyone else.  Yes, well, she is somewhat longer than when I brought her home from the hospital. I was carrying her in a baby sling once, when she was new, and someone came up to tell me they thought I was toting a baby Chihuahua.

Yup, there she is on an actual rooster.

My husband is a person of compactness – we aren’t big on height around here and why should we be?  As you know Eaters, I hate waste, and we live in a culture preoccupied with excess.  Vehicles, houses, burgers, breasts…everything has to be enormous.  Let’s hear it for quality in manageably-portioned packages!

Recently my friend’s son told me about these enormous muffins at Costco.  He had a rapt look on his face and flecks of saliva at the corners of his mouth.  He was dying for some mass-produced, margarine-laden jumbo cakes masquerading as single servings.  A pox on Costco and their double D “muffins!” It’s time for muffins of modest proportions.

My daughters are bored with my habit of morning baking.  I can’t give it up because it’s how I start the day.  I may spend the remainder of the day in existential puzzlement but by gosh, there are abook6scones.  So when I made these muffins from the Yummy Mummy Kitchen  (annoying title, but lovely recipes) I wowed my all but unwowable family. Marina Delio is the Yummy Mummy and you (I) just have to get over the way she looks.  Extremely beautiful and obscenely, irresponsibly tall…just have a little scream, Eaters, and then rise above it.

Tall Marina’s Muffins she eats in her yard in Santa Barbara while she tosses her gorgeous hair back and crosses her long legs
(AND
I AM FINE WITH IT)

1 cup flour
1 cup almond flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar (1/4 is sufficient)
1 large egg
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract ( I also like 1/4 teaspoon almond flavoring)
1/4 cup coconut oil or butter, melted
3/4 cup cherries, pitted and roughly chopped
1 tablespoon turbinado sugar

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Place paper liners in a muffin pan.

In a medium bowl whisk together the flour, almond flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.  In another bowl, stir together the egg, milk, vanilla, and coconut oil or butter.  Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients, stilling until just moistened.  Fold in the chopped cherries, Fill the muffin cups three-quarters full  Sprinkle with turbinado sugar.

Bake 15 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out just a bit sweaty.  These are excellent with whole wheat pastry flour, half the sugar, as I noted, and blueberries or dried cherries.

If you make mini-muffins, try not to eat seven, one for each dwarf.  Remember that some of the dwarfs were actually children hiding out in the cottage for fun, children whose doctors made them feel like freaks, and there were only four true little people, so that’s how many muffins you get, plus one to grow on.*

marycake

*The 1993 animated film adaptation of Snow White, Happily Ever After, featured dwarfs named Thunderella and Sunburn.

 

 

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One thought on “Muffins of Modest Proportions

  1. By all means, keep baking in the morning, but don’t feed what you bake to the kids. A steady diet of bran flakes with hemp milk will teach them some gratitude!

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